


Flowers and Chocolates

by anxiousalice



Series: Asexuality Sketches [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Depression, Family Issues, Frigga's C- Parenting Skills, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Very Vague References to Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22449883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousalice/pseuds/anxiousalice
Summary: The first part of Tony and Loki's courtship from Loki's perspective. Part of the Asexuality Sketch series, but it is probably OK on its own. No explicit discussion of asexuality here.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Asexuality Sketches [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615399
Comments: 2
Kudos: 70





	Flowers and Chocolates

Upon his arrival, Loki spent most of his time in his chambers in the Avenger's tower. He was not welcome anywhere else, and he fully understood the reasons for that. Understanding did not help to improve his mood, but, well. Most of the time, he barely felt anything. He was just dead tired and always aching somewhere deep inside. The mere thought of Thor or Odin made him want to crawl into the nearest hole and never come out. 

Beyond fights against the enemies of Avengers and assisting Tony Stark with his energy research, Loki barely did anything. He would come back into his room, always aware of the artificial eye that was following him, and sit down. And then, he would just keep sitting till the time came to go to bed.

Tony Stark quickly became the main event of Loki’s days. The man was a bit apprehensive at first, but seeing that Loki was saner now (which he was, he definitely did not want to rule anything – or, frankly, be anything - anymore), he slowly became more accepting. 

The similarities in their sense of humor definitely helped. Tony could be just as acidic, but he also did not make Loki want to eviscerate him with his wit. Most of the time, they engaged in some playful banter, which became friendly against Loki’s better judgement. 

Against Loki’s better judgement, Tony Stark became very important to him.

Stark took even worse care of himself than Loki. Loki could go on for days without sleep and for weeks without food, but Tony was way, way more vulnerable and breakable. With Jarvis’ blessing, Loki started to lure Tony away from the lab when the engineer was too tired. He also started bringing Tony food – and eating some, too. The fact that he could go without food did not mean that it was good for him. They grew closer and started… sharing… things. At a point, when Tony was clearly doing not-so-well after a nightmare, Loki told him about his own nightmares. The Void, the falling…

As it turned out, their dreams were identical.

Loki barely remembered the Battle of New York. He blamed it on Hulk’s beating. He did know that there was only one instance when Tony could have seen the Void, though.

He knew who was responsible for Tony’s nightmares.

It was very easy to slip into a state of non-being. He kept moving around, eating sometimes, showering every now and then, but he was not quite present in the world. He was trapped by his anguished mind instead, in a fight that he was losing. His concentration failed him; his magic failed him, and he stopped being an asset for the Avengers. 

He stopped seeing Anthony altogether. Seeing him was almost as painful as seeing Thor. Seeing him was unbearable.

When conversations started about sending Loki back to Asgard since he did not want to help, Tony snapped. He made Jarvis open Loki’s chambers. He yelled at Loki.

For the first time in that year, Loki burst into tears, and it was one of the most cathartic moments in his life. Shocked at his own emotionality, he proceeded to tell Tony about Thanos.

He told Tony everything in a fit of honesty so foreign that it should have hurt – and in a way, it did, but it hurt like cleaning a wound and watching all the pus flow out. It felt freeing. It felt – better. 

Nobody listened to him the way Tony listened. Nobody felt for him the way Tony felt. And nobody fought for him the way Tony fought. For Loki knew, Odin would not have freed him from his punishment if it were not for Tony and his incessant attempts to get Thor on Loki’s side. 

That was how Loki knew that Tony was special and that with him, Loki would be safe the way he would not be anywhere else. 

Freed of the Midgard charges (and Jotunheim ones as well, although for less noble reasons), Loki could stay in Asgard. He thought to do so at first; he spent a whole day with his mother, sitting by her feet with his head in her lap, reading to her, or helping her with her sewing. Unfortunately, after dinner, she decided to start talking about Odin. 

Loki left Asgard that very night, and Tony gladly welcomed him.

They embraced, and then – they kissed. It just… happened. It should have felt humiliating – and in a way, it was, he was being kissed by a man, and it was more than a little wrong – but it also felt safe. It felt like coming home. It felt like helping his mother sew. It felt close, comfortable, and like the one thing he wanted the most. 

It was wrong, of course, to want that, but Loki was just too tired to fight his own traitorous heart. 

And so, he stayed.

**Author's Note:**

> In Russian, the first part of courtship is called “the time of chocolates and flowers.” It sounds better in Russian :D The idea is that before you decide to become an item, you have a magical time with flowers and chocolates and a lot of flirting.  
> Loki’s time of flowers and chocolates may have been different.
> 
> (Loki is very tired and depressed in this one. I think that he will be getting better, though.)


End file.
